Dusting each other off - Moments for couples

Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

Picture the major league baseball pitcher taking his warm-up pitches just before you. The batter steps up to the plate. The first pitch sails over the catcher's head and slams into the screen. The next one burrows wildly in the dirt and bounces up, almost hitting you in the on-deck circle 20 feet from home plate.

Nervous and uncertain, you finally step up to the plate. After three swings at the missile burning across the plate at 90 miles an hour, you're glad to trot back to the safety of the dugout.

Ryne Duren, former pitcher for the New York Yankees, liked to intimidate batters like that. He was known as the patron saint of the "psych out." He knew how to mentally harass opposing batters, "dusting them off" with an assortment of wildly launched pitches that left them terrified.

Unfortunately, words are sometimes hurled like that in the home. Instead of a baseball, we launch hurtful, intimidating words at each other, inflicting fear, pain and guilt. We learn what the wise man meant when he said death is in the power of the tongue.

Winston Churchill was a master at "dusting off" his opponents with such missiles. Once, after he had overindulged, his spiteful opponent, Lady Astor, said to him, "Mr. Prime Minister, I perceive you are drunk." Churchill smiled and replied, "Yes, Lady Astor, and you are ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober."

Even though you may be this skillful with the quick retort, what do you gain when you fire off such verbal volleys? Scripture warns that those who love to use the power of the tongue destructively will "eat its fruits." Often, those fruits are resentment, discord and revenge. They not only hurt others; they poison relationships.

Prayer: Since Jesus Christ is "the Word," pray that your speech in every aspect of home life will reflect His role as Prince of Peace and Mediator.

Discuss: What is the overall tone of the conversation in your family? What influence do parents have on this issue? What can you do to decrease the inclination to attack each other with hurtful words?