If a couple has never prayed together, they should begin simplly and practically. Over breakfast, the husband might say to his wife "What are you doing today darling?" The day ahead might include a dentist appointment, lunch with a recently divorced friend, or a long day at work. The husband could then say "Okay, I'll pray for you." He can pray about her work, the dentist appointment and that she would able to help her friend.
The she might ask him "What does your day look like?" He can tell her and she can pray through his day. Or they might do this at night, praying about what happened that day. Sometimes a couple just doesn't know what to pray about; this way they are giving each other the specific things they need prayer for.
If they have trouble coming up with additional things to pray about, they can think about other people they love. Concerns about close friends and family members can give them another common area for prayer.
God bless
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Stand for what's right
You can't force someone to change, or to get help if he or she doesn't want it. Paul, speaking on the issue of unequal values among spouses, didn't tell women "Try to change your husband to be a different man." Rather, he said "Be faithful to Christ. Carry out your marital responsibilities in the best way you can, and somehow the faithfulness of your life will speak to him in the long run" (1 Cor 6:6-10).
There is a story about a wife who took this approach with her husband over a period of about 25 years. Eventually, our of respect for her Christian faith, he began to seek Christ himself, and they finally achieved a true unity.
This quality of courageous patience is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Gal 5:22-23). In the King James version, the term is "long suffering." It seems that significant character is not possible without pain; look at what it cost Christ to buy us the ability to change. Perhaps it's not possible for us to help another person grow without pain, either.
But there's a special power in the kind of suffering that takes place when a person stands, day in and day out, for what is right. It's the kind of power Jesus displayed when he was reviled but did not revile back. The person who desires change doesn't try to force it, but chooses to live the best way he or she can under the circumstances, trusting in God for daily strength and the final outcome.
God bless.
There is a story about a wife who took this approach with her husband over a period of about 25 years. Eventually, our of respect for her Christian faith, he began to seek Christ himself, and they finally achieved a true unity.
This quality of courageous patience is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Gal 5:22-23). In the King James version, the term is "long suffering." It seems that significant character is not possible without pain; look at what it cost Christ to buy us the ability to change. Perhaps it's not possible for us to help another person grow without pain, either.
But there's a special power in the kind of suffering that takes place when a person stands, day in and day out, for what is right. It's the kind of power Jesus displayed when he was reviled but did not revile back. The person who desires change doesn't try to force it, but chooses to live the best way he or she can under the circumstances, trusting in God for daily strength and the final outcome.
God bless.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
About forgiveness - Moments for couples
To forgive others means we give up the right to punish them. We no longer hold the offenses against them.
Forgiveness is at the heart of Christianity. Your marriage, and mine, must be the union of two people who are not willing for anything to come between them.
Forgiveness is at the heart of Christianity. Your marriage, and mine, must be the union of two people who are not willing for anything to come between them.
Dusting each other off - Moments for couples
Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."
Picture the major league baseball pitcher taking his warm-up pitches just before you. The batter steps up to the plate. The first pitch sails over the catcher's head and slams into the screen. The next one burrows wildly in the dirt and bounces up, almost hitting you in the on-deck circle 20 feet from home plate.
Nervous and uncertain, you finally step up to the plate. After three swings at the missile burning across the plate at 90 miles an hour, you're glad to trot back to the safety of the dugout.
Ryne Duren, former pitcher for the New York Yankees, liked to intimidate batters like that. He was known as the patron saint of the "psych out." He knew how to mentally harass opposing batters, "dusting them off" with an assortment of wildly launched pitches that left them terrified.
Unfortunately, words are sometimes hurled like that in the home. Instead of a baseball, we launch hurtful, intimidating words at each other, inflicting fear, pain and guilt. We learn what the wise man meant when he said death is in the power of the tongue.
Winston Churchill was a master at "dusting off" his opponents with such missiles. Once, after he had overindulged, his spiteful opponent, Lady Astor, said to him, "Mr. Prime Minister, I perceive you are drunk." Churchill smiled and replied, "Yes, Lady Astor, and you are ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober."
Even though you may be this skillful with the quick retort, what do you gain when you fire off such verbal volleys? Scripture warns that those who love to use the power of the tongue destructively will "eat its fruits." Often, those fruits are resentment, discord and revenge. They not only hurt others; they poison relationships.
Prayer: Since Jesus Christ is "the Word," pray that your speech in every aspect of home life will reflect His role as Prince of Peace and Mediator.
Discuss: What is the overall tone of the conversation in your family? What influence do parents have on this issue? What can you do to decrease the inclination to attack each other with hurtful words?
Picture the major league baseball pitcher taking his warm-up pitches just before you. The batter steps up to the plate. The first pitch sails over the catcher's head and slams into the screen. The next one burrows wildly in the dirt and bounces up, almost hitting you in the on-deck circle 20 feet from home plate.
Nervous and uncertain, you finally step up to the plate. After three swings at the missile burning across the plate at 90 miles an hour, you're glad to trot back to the safety of the dugout.
Ryne Duren, former pitcher for the New York Yankees, liked to intimidate batters like that. He was known as the patron saint of the "psych out." He knew how to mentally harass opposing batters, "dusting them off" with an assortment of wildly launched pitches that left them terrified.
Unfortunately, words are sometimes hurled like that in the home. Instead of a baseball, we launch hurtful, intimidating words at each other, inflicting fear, pain and guilt. We learn what the wise man meant when he said death is in the power of the tongue.
Winston Churchill was a master at "dusting off" his opponents with such missiles. Once, after he had overindulged, his spiteful opponent, Lady Astor, said to him, "Mr. Prime Minister, I perceive you are drunk." Churchill smiled and replied, "Yes, Lady Astor, and you are ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober."
Even though you may be this skillful with the quick retort, what do you gain when you fire off such verbal volleys? Scripture warns that those who love to use the power of the tongue destructively will "eat its fruits." Often, those fruits are resentment, discord and revenge. They not only hurt others; they poison relationships.
Prayer: Since Jesus Christ is "the Word," pray that your speech in every aspect of home life will reflect His role as Prince of Peace and Mediator.
Discuss: What is the overall tone of the conversation in your family? What influence do parents have on this issue? What can you do to decrease the inclination to attack each other with hurtful words?
Wives were meant to soar! - Moments for couples
1 Peter 3:5 "For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands"
There is a story about a kite that was soaring high in the sky when it saw a field of flowers some distance away. It sure would be fun to fly over there and get a closer look at all those beautiful flowers, the kite thought.
But there was one problem. The string holding the kite wasn't long enough to let it fly where it wanted to. So it pulled and tugged and finally broke loose. Happily, the kite soared for a few moments toward the field of flowers. But soon it came crashing down-falling far short of its goal. What had seemed to be holding the kite down was actually enabling it to fly.
The wife is the kite in this story. The string symbolizes the scriptural principles of a man's responsibility to lead and of a woman's responsibility to submit to his headship. The string was not intended to be a hindrance. Together with the wind, it is actually what is holding up the kite.
The husband's love is the wind that enables the kite to soar into the sky. Without this wind-the secure, encouraging environment the husband creates through his leadership-the wife can feel tied down, not uplifted.
A husband can help his wife soar by reminding her verbally of his love and expressing his need of her in specific ways-notes, calls and love letters. And he can show appreciation to her for all that she does for him.
Husbands need to give the kind of servant-based leadership that uplifts their wives. God means for this leadership to be liberating, not limiting. God made wives to soar.
Prayer: As a husband, take your wife's hand and express to God how grateful you are for her.
Discuss: As a wife, share with your husband ways he could enable you to "soar." What are three things he can do to add "lift" to your life?
There is a story about a kite that was soaring high in the sky when it saw a field of flowers some distance away. It sure would be fun to fly over there and get a closer look at all those beautiful flowers, the kite thought.
But there was one problem. The string holding the kite wasn't long enough to let it fly where it wanted to. So it pulled and tugged and finally broke loose. Happily, the kite soared for a few moments toward the field of flowers. But soon it came crashing down-falling far short of its goal. What had seemed to be holding the kite down was actually enabling it to fly.
The wife is the kite in this story. The string symbolizes the scriptural principles of a man's responsibility to lead and of a woman's responsibility to submit to his headship. The string was not intended to be a hindrance. Together with the wind, it is actually what is holding up the kite.
The husband's love is the wind that enables the kite to soar into the sky. Without this wind-the secure, encouraging environment the husband creates through his leadership-the wife can feel tied down, not uplifted.
A husband can help his wife soar by reminding her verbally of his love and expressing his need of her in specific ways-notes, calls and love letters. And he can show appreciation to her for all that she does for him.
Husbands need to give the kind of servant-based leadership that uplifts their wives. God means for this leadership to be liberating, not limiting. God made wives to soar.
Prayer: As a husband, take your wife's hand and express to God how grateful you are for her.
Discuss: As a wife, share with your husband ways he could enable you to "soar." What are three things he can do to add "lift" to your life?
Friday, May 16, 2008
Satan's Schemes - Moments for couples
I've noticed that many Christians are somewhat naive about the devices Satan uses to tempt us to follow him. The "harmless" office flirtation, the casual attitude toward immorality in the media, it's as though we are unaware that such schemes can wreck our homes.
The world isn't going to issue warnings. If we are to stand the test, we will have to become more aware of Satan's tactics.
For instance, I've never seen a video rental store that placed warnings above certain movies: "Caution: This movie contains provocative material that could create an addiction to pornography, cause infidelity and violence and result in the loss of your dignity and family."
There are times when I find I can be vulnerable to the enemy's schemes.
When I am alone. Like most people, I'm tempted when no one else is looking-when I'm away on a trip, isolated from those who know me.
When I'm with someone else who is willing to be a part of Satan's scheme. If the enemy can't get me when I am alone, he throws me with people who tempt me to gossip, or to go with the crowd to be a people pleaser.
When I am tired. When I tire physically and emotionally, I become susceptible to erroneous thoughts about God, myself and others. I've learned that temptation is easier to withstand when I'm not "living on the edge." I need to retreat periodically to allow God to replenish my strength.
When I think I can justify my actions. I am constantly amazed at my ability to rationalize wrong choices.
I think there's a mistaken tendency to think that these schemes and temptations decrease as we grow older. Biblically and practically speaking, my flesh is no better today than it was 30 years ago. The mistake is made when we drop our guards to seemingly "small temptations" and give the enemy an opportunity to get a foothold in our lives.
"Be on the alert!"
The world isn't going to issue warnings. If we are to stand the test, we will have to become more aware of Satan's tactics.
For instance, I've never seen a video rental store that placed warnings above certain movies: "Caution: This movie contains provocative material that could create an addiction to pornography, cause infidelity and violence and result in the loss of your dignity and family."
There are times when I find I can be vulnerable to the enemy's schemes.
When I am alone. Like most people, I'm tempted when no one else is looking-when I'm away on a trip, isolated from those who know me.
When I'm with someone else who is willing to be a part of Satan's scheme. If the enemy can't get me when I am alone, he throws me with people who tempt me to gossip, or to go with the crowd to be a people pleaser.
When I am tired. When I tire physically and emotionally, I become susceptible to erroneous thoughts about God, myself and others. I've learned that temptation is easier to withstand when I'm not "living on the edge." I need to retreat periodically to allow God to replenish my strength.
When I think I can justify my actions. I am constantly amazed at my ability to rationalize wrong choices.
I think there's a mistaken tendency to think that these schemes and temptations decrease as we grow older. Biblically and practically speaking, my flesh is no better today than it was 30 years ago. The mistake is made when we drop our guards to seemingly "small temptations" and give the enemy an opportunity to get a foothold in our lives.
"Be on the alert!"
Watch your step! - Moments for couples
Matthew 26:41 "Keep watching and praying, that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
How many marriages have been poisoned and even slain by our frequent failures to take seriously the serpents of temptation coiled in our pathways? One trouble is that many of us don't carefully watch for them. In fact, we may flirt with them, daring them to strike, as though we didn't realise their deadliness.
Someone once told me: "I'm grateful that early in marriage, my wife risked sharing with me a great temptation. Almost instantly the "snake" slithered away as we talked and prayed together."
Jesus knew that temptations would always be just a step away. That's why He counseled: "Watch your step." Are you watching yours?
Prayer: Consider yourself a "watchman on the wall" on behalf of your marriage and family, and pray that you will be personally alert in avoiding temptation.
Discuss: What recurring temptation have you faced recently that you need to tell your spouse about? What can your spouse do to help you?
To this we can say that the key to any relationship succeeding is communication, solid and clear communicate between you and your partner. I'm sure you have heard this before, but communication is key. If you or your partner are struggling with something, an issue in life which could potentially break your bond, the only way out is to talk and pray together.
Im ashamed at times to admit to myself that this simple rule would have saved my own relationship. If my partner and I had committed to pray and read together, then God would have been placed in the centre of our relationship. He would have been the foundation which we would eventually build our marriage on. We have often heard the phrase 'God centred' when referring to relationships.
It is key, essential, that you and your partner not only attend church together, but read and pray together. Open the doors of communication and do not be afraid to tell you partner things you think are embarassing or difficult. Remember, they are there to show you love. They won't judge you or humiliate you or make it much harder than it already is for you. Your partner will support you and guide you in the right direction, after all you are both there aiming for the same goal right?
OPEN UP AND DON'T BE ASHAMED!
How many marriages have been poisoned and even slain by our frequent failures to take seriously the serpents of temptation coiled in our pathways? One trouble is that many of us don't carefully watch for them. In fact, we may flirt with them, daring them to strike, as though we didn't realise their deadliness.
Someone once told me: "I'm grateful that early in marriage, my wife risked sharing with me a great temptation. Almost instantly the "snake" slithered away as we talked and prayed together."
Jesus knew that temptations would always be just a step away. That's why He counseled: "Watch your step." Are you watching yours?
Prayer: Consider yourself a "watchman on the wall" on behalf of your marriage and family, and pray that you will be personally alert in avoiding temptation.
Discuss: What recurring temptation have you faced recently that you need to tell your spouse about? What can your spouse do to help you?
To this we can say that the key to any relationship succeeding is communication, solid and clear communicate between you and your partner. I'm sure you have heard this before, but communication is key. If you or your partner are struggling with something, an issue in life which could potentially break your bond, the only way out is to talk and pray together.
Im ashamed at times to admit to myself that this simple rule would have saved my own relationship. If my partner and I had committed to pray and read together, then God would have been placed in the centre of our relationship. He would have been the foundation which we would eventually build our marriage on. We have often heard the phrase 'God centred' when referring to relationships.
It is key, essential, that you and your partner not only attend church together, but read and pray together. Open the doors of communication and do not be afraid to tell you partner things you think are embarassing or difficult. Remember, they are there to show you love. They won't judge you or humiliate you or make it much harder than it already is for you. Your partner will support you and guide you in the right direction, after all you are both there aiming for the same goal right?
OPEN UP AND DON'T BE ASHAMED!
Friday, May 09, 2008
Are you a gossip?
"Even so the tongue is a little member and boats great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles." James 3:5
There's a saying that goes, 'The deepest wounds in life come not from swords but words.' If you don't believe it, look at the walking wounded; they're all around you! Are you yourself still struggling with the hurtful words of an insensitive parent, a school teacher, a marriage partner, or a boss? Or worse, a Christian who thinks God's Word on the subject of gossip doesn't apply to them? God takes the sin (yes, it's a sin!) of gossip so seriously that He devotes an entire chapter of the Bible to it. If we were to read James 3 regularly, we might show more consideration before opening our mouths. The Bible says: 'Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.' (Eph 4:29)
One day a woman came to her pastor with a troubled conscience. She had 'sliced and diced' just about everybody in church. He said, 'Take a box of feathers and drop one on the doorstep of each person you've criticised.' After doing so, she came back and said, 'Is that all?' 'No,' he said. 'Now go and pick them all up and bring them back to me.' A week or so later, the woman returned without a single one. 'The wind blew them all away,' she said. After a long silence, the pastor said, 'That's how it is with words; they're easily spoken, but you can never take them back again.'
Are you a gossip? Amend your ways! 'Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails man.' (Jm 5:16)
There's a saying that goes, 'The deepest wounds in life come not from swords but words.' If you don't believe it, look at the walking wounded; they're all around you! Are you yourself still struggling with the hurtful words of an insensitive parent, a school teacher, a marriage partner, or a boss? Or worse, a Christian who thinks God's Word on the subject of gossip doesn't apply to them? God takes the sin (yes, it's a sin!) of gossip so seriously that He devotes an entire chapter of the Bible to it. If we were to read James 3 regularly, we might show more consideration before opening our mouths. The Bible says: 'Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.' (Eph 4:29)
One day a woman came to her pastor with a troubled conscience. She had 'sliced and diced' just about everybody in church. He said, 'Take a box of feathers and drop one on the doorstep of each person you've criticised.' After doing so, she came back and said, 'Is that all?' 'No,' he said. 'Now go and pick them all up and bring them back to me.' A week or so later, the woman returned without a single one. 'The wind blew them all away,' she said. After a long silence, the pastor said, 'That's how it is with words; they're easily spoken, but you can never take them back again.'
Are you a gossip? Amend your ways! 'Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails man.' (Jm 5:16)
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Get off the guilt train!
"Those ... in Christ ... are not judged guilty." (Romans 8:1)
The Bible says, 'We all fall short of God's ... standard' (Ro 3:23 NLT). The strongest among us struggle with areas of weakness. But by continually wallowing in guilt, you're not only punishing yourself, you're allowing others to punish you too, because you think you deserve it. Surrendering your life to Jesus doesn't mean you become sinless. Even Paul, who had 'the desire to do ... good' admits that sometimes he couldn't 'carry it out' (Ro 7:18 NIV)
The good news of the Gospel is that whenever you're 'in Christ ... [you're] not judged guilty', and when you repent and seek forgiveness, God's bound to honour His Word. Nothing you do surprises Him. He knows 'we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.' (2 Co 4:7). In Disciplines of the Hungry Heart, Pastor R Paul Stevens writes: 'While our church was worshipping ... as I looked at the people I've come to love, I saw that each was an earthen vessel ... I looked into each mud pot and ... saw exquisite molten gold. Each person frail, vulnerable, and half-fashioned had treasure inside ... each pot was cracked ... and the ... gold was oozing through the cracks. That's how ministry comes into the world, not poured out of expensive vases, but through ... the faults and weaknesses of real people who are being transfigured by Christ.'
Now Satan, 'the accuser of our brethren' (Rev 12:10) will try to make you guilty over sin of which you've already repented. That's his specialty! But you can defeat his influence in your life by reminding yourself that Jesus paid the price for your sins - past, present and future. So get off the guilt train today and begin to 'serve the Lord with gladness' (Ps 100:2)
(The word for today form UCB Australia)
The Bible says, 'We all fall short of God's ... standard' (Ro 3:23 NLT). The strongest among us struggle with areas of weakness. But by continually wallowing in guilt, you're not only punishing yourself, you're allowing others to punish you too, because you think you deserve it. Surrendering your life to Jesus doesn't mean you become sinless. Even Paul, who had 'the desire to do ... good' admits that sometimes he couldn't 'carry it out' (Ro 7:18 NIV)
The good news of the Gospel is that whenever you're 'in Christ ... [you're] not judged guilty', and when you repent and seek forgiveness, God's bound to honour His Word. Nothing you do surprises Him. He knows 'we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.' (2 Co 4:7). In Disciplines of the Hungry Heart, Pastor R Paul Stevens writes: 'While our church was worshipping ... as I looked at the people I've come to love, I saw that each was an earthen vessel ... I looked into each mud pot and ... saw exquisite molten gold. Each person frail, vulnerable, and half-fashioned had treasure inside ... each pot was cracked ... and the ... gold was oozing through the cracks. That's how ministry comes into the world, not poured out of expensive vases, but through ... the faults and weaknesses of real people who are being transfigured by Christ.'
Now Satan, 'the accuser of our brethren' (Rev 12:10) will try to make you guilty over sin of which you've already repented. That's his specialty! But you can defeat his influence in your life by reminding yourself that Jesus paid the price for your sins - past, present and future. So get off the guilt train today and begin to 'serve the Lord with gladness' (Ps 100:2)
(The word for today form UCB Australia)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
